Hey pearl, if you are looking for the "pirating" type gameplay where you can screw with people (which can be very fun!), this is not your game. Eve when I played it a long time ago was a much better system for that, while Evo Merc on the other hand is a much more friendly and cooperative based game. I have only been able to play online a few times (Dingo your server is awesome!) and each time I have seen all the players work together in a very friendly atmosphere. (with exception to one player who did not stay long)
The way death works is that while not on a mission, you can save. When you die, you load your ship back to the past save (but the universe does not revert back, just your ship). Ships only drop what is in their cargo bay upon death (and I'm not even sure that players drop that) and upon loading everything you had at that point is restored including money, weapons, cargo, everything.
As far as servers go there are like 5-6 on the server list that I have seen, but you can host your own and it is also LAN friendly.
Pvp I can't say I have seen too much of. There are capital ships but they are npc only and unless there is some sort of outside reward, the only thing you get from klilling another player is the feeling of victory!
I hope this has cleared up some of your questions! (most of this is fact but a few things are my personal opinions and I have only logged about 3 hours total online fyi)
TL;DR -
If you want to be a pirate, you will have much more fun in Eve.
I believe as long as the servers can handle a small amount of players the only way to play in such a vast universe is coop.
If in the future a server can host lots of players there will be clans against clans, pirates, etc.
For now we are a family out in space.